Start

Over the years I’ve heard the phrase, “I don’t know what to talk about today” more times than I can count from clients. I usually begin a session by asking a form of “where would you like to go today” or “how can I support you?” And I’ve come to realize, I think I’m asking the wrong question. Usually, people have no clue how to answer that and it’s not their fault. My mentor and I were talking about how clients can utilize the therapy space and I realized the better question to begin a session with might be, “where are you today?” If we can start by identifying what’s happening in the now, we can begin to bring care around where we actually are.

So if you’re getting stuck in therapy, start with where you are. Even, and especially when, it’s “I don’t know what to talk about and that’s really f*cking frustrating for me!” Because maybe all we really need is for someone to be with us when we don’t know where the hell we are, what to do about it, or even what to talk about to make something ANYTHING feel minutely better. So when talking about stuff in therapy feels overwhelming, make things a little smaller by asking yourself, “where am I right now in this moment and what’s that feel like?” And bring that.